is this man a great mind or a blithering idiot 
1) "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for
Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."
2) "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
3) "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of
your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
4) "Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of
things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the
animals! Except the weasel."
5) "If you really want something in life you have to work
for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
6) "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's
problems!"
7) "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed
around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed,
it would explode! I think it was called,
'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"
8) "I want to share something with you - the three
sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1, 'cover for me.'
Number 2, 'oh, good idea, boss.'
Number 3, 'it was like that when I got here.'"
9) "Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."
10) "Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my
specialty.'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population:you.'"
11) "Don't let Krusty's death get you down
Boy people die all the time Just like that
Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.
Well,Good night."
12) "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's
not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
13) "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and
it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot
oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
14) "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike.
You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the
American way."
15) "Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything
from
that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain
whats-his-name?
16) "We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took
you all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear
anybody laughin',did you?"
17) "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without
adding, 'you're making a scene.'"
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