I am 24, long divorced and still single,
When I decided to give my dear friend, Audrey, a Jingle.
I was beginning to get sick, I think I thought I had the flu,
So I asked frisky Audrey “what am I going to do?”
We conversed for a while of symptoms and signs,
Dates and mates, schedules and dimes.
She directed “come up to the office and let me play nurse”.
“On my way” I answered as I grabbed my purse.
I turned the key and listened to the pipes of my 78 Camaro rumble,
Shifting to reverse, I began to mumble,
Lord help me to do the right thing no matter what,
It seems as though I’ve gotten myself into another little rut.
Into the office and onto the chair,
It was a specimen Audrey took from me with tender loving care.
She called the lab,
requesting their cab,
giving careful instructions for this little red tube,
she would leave it for them in the big silver cube.
We locked up the office, and forwarded all calls,
as we headed out for a nibble by one of the malls.
I was not very hungry so I ordered a small lunch,
A crispy green salad sounded yummy to munch.
Back at the office, lunch seemed to be over rather quick,
Oh Lord, my belly again, I thought I was going to be sick!
Messages were checked and calls reverted back
I used the restroom carefully leaving the door open a crack.
“Results are in” she yelled back to me
Quickly, I ran into her office so I could see
Pulling my drawers up as I fumbled
Quick prayer notes were softly mumbled.
I carefully studied Audrey’s face,
trying desperately not to pace.
Searching for some sort of clue
I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath, until I almost turned blue.
Audrey hung up the phone,
carefully pitching her tone,
turning to face me
In my soul is what she wanted to see.
One single word spoken “positive” was all she had to say.
“Are you positive”? I asked so terribly desperate this day.
My whole future hinged on this one word that she spoke.
Fumbling with my pants I failed to notice my zipper was broke.
“Positive” she firmly said once again, and that my dear girl is what sealed my fate.
My life forever changed on this specific 01/28/1991 date...
