Civil Dialogue
This page is reserved for responses to questions and comments left on our Guest Book page. The material is in chronological order; most recent additions are at the bottom. Check back often.
I like your ideas. What can I do?
Well, I guess you could help others find this website. It's not a familiar address, but once bookmarked is easily accessed. And it's being updated regularly. Help get the word around.
Why hasn't anyone told us this before???
You wouldn't believe the selective journalism (read censorship) being rampant among mainline Vermont news sources. Whatever their motives (or subconscious motivations) they emphasize what many consider "politically correct" positions, even though they're tragically wrong!
Why not expand the respect for people to consider that the self-definition of a people is their own perogative, and that those who claim homosexuality to be built into their identity should be believed?
If a person is fully knowledgeable about the true nature and origins of homosexual behavior, including the statistically significant tragic consequences, and insists it's still their choice, then so be it. But too few really know that they don't HAVE to be homosexual; it's not inborn, and it's not their inevitable destiny! My mission is to help get the word around, and also to help break the monopoly the homosexual activists and gay rights community has on media and educational resources.
Also, you really ought to allow a space for more comprehensive responses to your theories. I like your respectful tone, however.
I'm sorry, but the template provided me by my web host is not my design. Indeed, I don't know yet how to alter it, if it can be altered. You seem to have used it effectively nevertheless. Besides, I prefer answering brief comments and/or questions and avoiding dissertations.
I suggest you read Matthew 7, verse 1. You insult Jesus and his teachings
I have a lot of respect (actually more than respect) for Jesus, and I would hesitate to quote Him out of context --although we all make this mistake more often than we should. I try to do my best to understand what Jesus would have us do if we are to follow Him.
You seem to be on the right track, but not fully knowledgeable. Jesus was often hesitant to judge persons per se, but He at no time would condone wrongdoing. He certainly let the Pharisees know what they were doing was wrong, and He bid the woman saved from stoning to "sin no more."
It's important for all of us to recognize the difference between condemning persons versus condemning behavior that is harmful to human beings, to human relationships, and ultimately to human society. Have you read all the pages of this website?
Let me ask you this: were you born a heterosexual?
I could answer this as both "yes" and "no." First, it's important to remember that the catagories referring to sexual preference are for modes of behavior, not for a state of "being." I was born a sexual being; homo- or hetero- would describe my choice of behavior.
But this is an important question to a lot of folks who still think one is born with sexual preference predetermined. Let me instead quote a letter to an editor (the writer of which makes an assumption that the person he addresses is also webmaster of this website), and a response to that letter written by a close aquaintance which addresses this question: (References are made to this website you are now viewing.)
The dangers of intolerance
Editor the Rutland Herald:
I would like to ask David Garrecht (I’m making some assumptions here) what makes you a heterosexual?
Please think long and hard about this, Mr. Garrecht.
Were you born that way? Or was it a conditioned mode
of behavior? Or simply a matter of conviction? I do not
have to “do anything” to be homosexual. I just am.
I visited your [recommended] Web site and affiliates and must say if
anything is self-serving, this is it. Let’s be clear about
your objective: You want people to believe as you do.
What you claim as truth is nothing more than far-right
fundamentalist propaganda, if not outright lies.
“Tolerance may be the most un-compassionate position
of all.” A quote from one of the links from your Web
site. Nice.
There is a danger to your intolerance, Mr. Garrecht.
Don’t you see this is exactly the message that promotes
hate and ignorance and violence, and exactly what the
civil rights movement is here to fight against.
I do not expect change from you, Mr. Garrecht. I grew
up in a fundamentalist household. I have the experienced
the emotional repression and abuse that movements like
yours cause first-hand.
If there is a cure for anything, Mr. Garrecht, I believe it
is through the common need and desire to be loved and
love who we love and to express that love in every way
that makes us human. Nothing depraved here.
MARK MERRILL White River Junction
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Editor the Rutland Herald:
I was so pleased to find among the May 10 Letters to the Editor a response to something I had written some time ago regarding the origins of homosexuality. I trust that with the Herald’s Pulitzer reputation for balance and evenhandedness, and for the sake of others who have similar concerns, I will be allowed to address the concerns of Mr. Mark Merrill who wrote a letter indicating he had visited the web site I had recommended, and felt it was “nothing more than far-right fundamentalist propaganda...”
Regardless of what may be included in the web site which I recommended, some of for which there is printed a disclaimer, I personally am far from a fundamentalist. I advocate free thinking and critical examination of whatever viewpoints come my way, and especially I search out verifiable facts rather than mere opinion in the never-ending search for truth. And I have changed my mind about homosexuality. I used to think it was a private matter that hurt no one. But I’ve discovered that there are many people who are hurt when a person becomes convinced he or she is homosexual, not the least of whom is the person him/herself. The web site, “Straight Talk in Vermont” has information that makes very clear who and how many are hurt by one’s embracing this lifestyle. Hence the statement, quoted out of context by Mr. Merrill, “Tolerance may be the most un-compassionate position of all.”
I believe Mr. Merrill is right to address our basic human need to love and be loved, which neither I nor the website have denied. Yet where is the love in promoting a destructive mode of behavior?
But Merrill also asks an important question, since it is one placed in the minds of many: “What makes you a heterosexual? ...Were you born that way? Or was it a conditioned mode of behavior? Or simply a matter of conviction?”
Actually I was born merely “sexual,” and male –for which the y-chromosome contributed by my father can be credited (or blamed). But the context of my early years on into adolescence was largely determinant of my development in the direction of heterosexuality as a normal expectation of maturity.
I was born into an intact family with both mother and father who valued their marriage commitment with a deeply-flowing love that would not let their differences erode their relationship. Our family life provided a sure sense of belonging, a stable unconditional love, and incentive to cultivate whatever gifts I might have to become fully the person I was meant to be from the moment of my conception. Beneficial behavior was encouraged and rewarded; harmful behavior was discouraged and disapproved.
At the onset of adolescence when hormones “raged” I encountered my sexuality in a new mode. But I had a strong sense of identity already established, thanks to my family life. I knew who I was, I knew I was loved unconditionally, and I knew my folks had only the highest expectations of me. I honed my self-concept as a boy scout during my pre-teens. As a teenager, my need for acceptance in peer relationships was fulfilled largely in a youth fellowship which also held high ideals and solid values for integrity and human kindness.
Those newly-experienced hormones naturally and normally aroused feelings for sexual expression, and a full spectrum of sexual behavior could be fantasized. As someone once said, “At this stage, a normally developing male, testosterone-driven, can become aroused even while contemplating a knot-hole!” Arousal by any sexual stimulus or thought, including viewing same-sex anatomy, is not unusual. But I had already learned which feelings and attractions to pay attention to and which to reject, and I had no great need to prove my acceptability or prowess to anyone. Thus for me peer relationships took a natural course, beginning with “buddy” relationships with both male and female friends, and later a normally focused and developing attraction to females for cultivating closer ties and self-sharing leading to couple-attachment (being "in love"). The eventual step of marriage and family commitment would provide the only acceptable context for full sexual expression and begetting a family of our own.
The bottom line is that perceived sexual orientation and identity are formed over a number of years during a person’s normal development from child to adult. Options, choices, decisions are encountered day by day, most of them in response to daily experiences some of which have a greater impact and lasting impression than others.. Homelife, self-awareness, peer pressures, significant persons, media-presented situations and hero figures, and a myriad of influences all add various directions to the formation taking place. Some options are embraced, and others discarded. Who You Are is formed in your mind and understanding, and generally comes to fruition during adolescence into young adulthood. Negative factors can give this a tragic twist, but never hopeless.
This is but a brief outline of sexual identity development. Virtually all of the ex-homosexuals I have met attested to a less-than-ideal family life and parental relationships, and many whom I have not met write of similar homelife dysfunction. Moreover, many having entered the homosexual lifestyle had been sexually abused. Others simply did not fit the socially mandated "macho man" or "Barbie"/heroine image and were ostracized by peers, or despaired of ever having accepting relationships.
But the good news is that change is possible, and there is no doubt that very many ex-homosexuals have successfully changed their orientation. The web site [Straight Talk in Vermont]will offer a more comprehensive picture of origins and consequences of one’s sexual orientation, as well as the personal stories of some of those who have changed with the help of an accepting, welcoming, transforming community.
Dave Garrecht
[Editor's note: Mr. Garrecht's contribution is appreciated.]
I notice that new information has been added to this site. It's a lot of reading, but quite informative.
Yes, we don’t change at a fast pace, but new material is added as it becomes relevant. Glad you liked the content.
[This] site has been highly recommended to me by a friend.
If you find the content useful and/or informative, please recommend it to two or more additional friends and help spread the word.
Homosexuality is, for the church in our century, what slavery was in the 1800's. Only 20% of churches then supported abolition of slavery. Many Biblical texts were quoted to justify the continuation of the practice.
Yes, it seems many churches are slow to learn, although your statistics are specious. You will note that there is a page directed toward the churches also in this website.
As for Biblical quotations, the few quoted in the writings of this webmaster (excluding other contributors who are free to express their own convictions) are used as illustrative rather than authoritative. My own view of Biblical writings is that they represent the aggregate learnings of millennia of human experience, e.g. what “works” and what “doesn’t work” in terms of overall consequences. These findings are eventually codified as the natural laws of Creation and of a known (or hypothesized) Creator. When the consequences of human behavior corroborate Biblical “thou shalt not”s, it’s wise to take notice. Most of the material here is based on medical, psychological and anthropological and other scientific studies, and individuals’ informed and/or informal observations and conclusions based on these studies.
Also, please note that the Home Page article states in the first paragraph, “...the civil rights movement is not happy with the coat-tailing maneuvers of the gay movement to present homosexuality as a civil right.” The comparison to slavery is not warranted, since homosexuality is not an inherited nor immutable human trait but rather a mode of human behavior. Those involved in this behavior are not lesser human beings, but brothers and sisters involved in a lifestyle that is dangerous, unhealthy, and destructive of persons, relationships, families, societies, and ultimately life itself. This seems reason enough to oppose it.
I appreciate your tone and don't doubt this site has something to offer people who are interested in changing their sexual orientation. It bothers me, however, that so many who call themselves Christians take up the banner and cross in the battle against...
Unfortunately, this message was cut short for some reason. However, I agree that a Christian crusade of condemnation can be terribly counter-productive. Rather, consider those caught up in homosexual behavior to be the victims of media and interpersonal misinformation along with a behavioral addiction to same-sex intercourse. ExodusNorthAmerica.com, www.pfox.org, among other resources emphasize the effectiveness of honest and open Christian love. Visit their websites (see our Home Page for links) for another perspective.
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