MEN, LET'S TALK THE WORKBOOKBy Fitzhugh G. Houston
A powerful companion workbook to the book to help free addicted Christians from this addiction.
Men, Let's Talk, the workbook, shares the specific scriptures and revelations the Holy Spirit revealed
to the author which strengthened and inspired him on his way to victory.
Table of Contents Chapter One …………………………………………..…Taking the First Step
Chapter Two …………………………..…..Self-Evaluation & Observations
Chapter Three…………………………………………………. Know the Enemy
Chapter Four ……………………………………….…Pornography Statistics
Chapter Five…………………………………… The Scriptural Point of View
Chapter Six…………………… The Root of the Addiction: Masturbation
Chapter Seven-Physical Side Effects of Excessive Sex & Masturbation
Chapter Eight…………………..……New Level – New Devil (a testimony)
Chapter Nine.………………….………..……The Weapon of Unforgiveness
Chapter Ten ..………………..……………..What the Word Says about Lust
Chapter Eleven……………………………………..Protecting Your Marriage
Chapter Twelve. …….…………………………..Treatment for the Addiction
Chapter Thirteen…….………….………………….The Victory Can be Yours
Chapter Fourteen………………..………..Questionnaires, Surveys & More
Chapter TwoSelf-evaluation & observations This section of the workbook, as in the book, is to ask yourself questions that pertain to all the different ways pornography can sneak into your life. If you are not aware of what to watch out for, you can be blind-sided and end up entertaining the “lust of the flesh” unaware. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. There is no healing power in denial. It is only when you examine your true feelings that you can find any area of weakness and correct it accordingly. Here are some questions to think about now then answer in the last chapter of this workbook.
1. Do you enjoy looking at the bra section in department store catalogs?
2. Do you find yourself drawn to buying any/or all, of the magazines that have a swimsuit issue? Are you drawn to any particular magazine, and why?
3. Do you buy certain magazines especially because of the swimsuit centerfold included inside?
4. Do you find that the swimsuit issue models arouse you and that you cannot stop looking at the pictures?
5. Do the models in the swimsuit issues or the centerfold magazines cause you to fantasize about having sex with a woman like the model?
6. Are you at a point where the swimsuit issues and centerfold magazines are boring and your body craves to see even more flesh? If yes, do you give in to the craving and buy pornography magazines in order to enjoy your ever-growing fantasies?
7. Do any of the magazines previously mentioned, lingerie catalogs, swimsuit issues, centerfold magazines or pornography magazines, sexually arouse you enough to masturbate?
8. Do you buy pornography pictorial magazines (pictures only) instead of pornography magazines with articles?
9. Do you view women as sex objects?
10. Do you look at your wife or girlfriend and wish they
looked like the swimsuit or porn models?
11. Which sexually arouses your more, your wife or irlfriend; or the swimsuit and porn models?
12. Do you have trouble getting aroused by your wife or girlfriend without looking at swimsuits issues or porn magazines first?
13. Do you like to rent X-rated movies?
14. Do you need X-rated movies or magazines in order to arouse yourself enough to have sex?15. Are you able to masturbate without a magazine or video?16. Do internet pornography site invitations cause you to have a battle with temptation?17. Have you ever visited a pornography site?18. Have you or do you belong to a porn site(s)?19. Do you have a pornography screen saver?20. Is your addiction to pornography a secret?21. Do you enjoy masturbation more than sexual intercourse?22. Do you feel you are addicted to pornography?23. Do you want to be delivered from the spirit of pornography? 24. Are catalogs, swimsuit issues and centerfold magazines lying around your house, where they can easily be seen by young kids?25. Are you aware that Holy Spirit and the “spirit of lust” cannot occupy the body at the same time?26. Have you answered these question truthfully___________
In conclusion, YOU ARE ADDICTED IF; · your body craves to look at pornographic pictures or movies as much or more than you crave to be with your wife or girlfriend. · you compare your wife or girlfriend withthe porn magazine or movie models. · you expect your wife or girlfriend to behavelike the porn magazine or movie models. · if you cannot masturbate without porn orswimsuit issue. · you fantasize having sex with the porn orswimsuit issue models. · you crave the porn and swimsuit magazinesin order to masturbate when you’re stressed. · you can’t stop looking at the pictures in pornor swimsuit issue magazines. · you can hear the porn magazines or videoscalling out to you like a drug addict. If you are not addicted, drop on your knees and thank the Lord. If you are addicted, I’m here to tell you that keeping the Word in your heart will keep the “spirit of lust” out of your life. However, just like the verse says, “pray without ceasing”, so you must realize that the second you get lazy about keeping the Word on your tongue at all times, that’s the second that the “spirit of lust” will attempt to return and once again get a hold of you.
Once delivered from this addiction, remember, you must see to it that you do not keep magazines, videos, and anything else around you, from the addicted times, that can invite the “spirit of lust” to return. That includes the kinds of friends you hang around, the kinds of activities you get involved in, as well as enticing environments that remind you of your former lustful life. When you’re trying not to eat donuts, you don’t sit outside the donut shop and enjoy the aroma. YOU GET AWAY FROM IT!! Yes, it’s going to take discipline, on your part, but there’s nothing like the feeling of knowing that you are once again in control of your body’s desires and not a slave to your body’s desires.
Should you need one on one counseling or even a buddy system to work through the addiction, do it. You must treat this addiction as seriously as you would treat a drug addict trying to get off coke or any other drug.
YOU CAN DO IT! I am living proof. Your first step is admitting you have this addiction and then attack it head on.
KNOW THE EMEMY
The World’s View Now the first thing you have to know is exactly what you’re dealing with. You must
look at this addiction as your enemy, one of the devil’s devices meant to destroy your life.
This addiction is as devastating as drugs and alcohol in its own way. Knowing the severity of
this addiction will help you understand that only a total commitment from you will allow this entirenot the only one fighting this addiction. Believing you’re the only one with this problem is what feeds
thefeelings of guilt and shame, which will keep you from asking for help.
EXACTLY WHAT IS PORNOGRAPHY?
The dictionary defines “porne” as prostitute or harlot and “graphe” as pictures, painting or writing. Pornography’s purpose covers all forms of external physical symbols that produce sexual arousal in those who are involved. It stimulates the imagination to commit mental adultery, stirs the passion and sexual desires, especially men, making them temporarily, potentially dangerous to women. Pornography has a devastating negative impact on the males’s view of women and the place of sex in a male-female relationship is reduced to a physical activity rather than an expression of love to be as close as possible to your loved one. “Pornography is primarily about masturbation, mental or physical. It feeds your fantasy and leads one to believe that only visual stimulation leads to sex. It is also about the anatomical portrayal of sex and is void of human emotion.” (Harriet Koskiff, researcher, “Spiritual Warfare”,p.12
DEVASTATING EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY
In CHRISTIANS IN A CRAZED SOCIETY by Rev. Bill Hybal, he states that;“Pornograhy available in convenient stores today, unlike its more tasteful version in the past, includes women gagged and bound, women raped, women whipped, women abused and an array of multiple sex partners heterosexual, homosexual and lesbian.”
“It is degrading to women and depicts women as having an insatiable appetite for sex causing many porn addicts to think that a woman really wants sex whether she says “yes” or “no.”
“Porn undermines marriage. It has an addictive effect causing the addict to want more and more like a powerful sexual stimulant or aphrodisiac which is followed by sexual release or masturbation.”
“With the passage of time, it has an escalation effect which causes the addict person to require rougher, more explicit, more deviant and kinky kinds of pornography to get their “high.” Regardless of being married or having a willing sex partner, sexual imagery with masturbation is preferred over sexual intercourse.”
"Desensitization is next when pornography is viewed as common place and acceptable.”
In the next phase the addict seeks to act out what they’ve been seeing. More that the possibility of crime, is the disturbance of fragile bonds of family and marital relationship. “Pornography is devastating to children. It leads to misguided sexual experimentation, cases of incest, excited young boys rapingtheir younger sister, distorts a young person’s perspective on human sexuality, allows them to become victims to perverted men
who seek to molest young victims. There are even books on the market that give explicit instructions on how to seduce children.” Sex Therapist, Dr. Victor B. Cline states; “Pornography teaches kids that sex is public commercial and divorced from any degree of affection.” “Dial-a-porn has an addiction-effect on children with a desire to imitate what they heard on the phone.” “In a survey among high school students, 31% males and 18% females admitted doing some of the things sexually they had seen in pornography within a few days after exposure.” “Kids get around blocks by using another phone.” “Internet Porn is now the leading source of Pornographic materials worldwide. Why? The three A’s, accessible, affordable and anonymous.” “Cyber-sex is like heroine in that it grabs the addict and takes over their lives. It develops a conditioned response to the computer which sexually arouses them before turning it on.” “Computer filters are helpful but not foolproof. Monitoring is hard but the best way to protect a young person from excessive exposure.” “Most libraries refuse to use filters to protect underage children from exposure.” “Women who work in the sex industry are also effected. Plastic surgery and eating disorders are rampant as girls strive to look like the pornographic expectations. They have only a 23% percent chance of making a marriage that will last longer than three years.” “Women who work in the sex industry are often raped, 70% are followed home, and 42% are stalked.” The Attorney General states; “Child pornography has included children as young as one week old being induced to engage in sexual activity. Issues related to the sexual abuse of children and child pornography is directly related.” PORNS EFFECTS ON THE GENERAL PUBLIC
Addiction to pornography, in some cases, has lead to promiscuity, exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation, rape, murder, sadomasochism, lack of intimacy, a preference to masturbation 'over intercourse, frequenting massage parlors and strip clubs and more. Though not every pornography addict turns into a sex criminal and other forms of perversion, experts agree that pornography addiction’s number one damaging effect is how the addiction destroys relationships from all angles. The addict’s fantasy relationship with pictures, video images and strip club dancers is, in his mind, as real as flesh and blood relationships.
Many times the fantasy relationship (masturbation) is preferred over a loving secure relationship creating emotional pain and insecurity for their partner. It was when I conducted research on this addiction that I realized the enormous potentially dangerous doors that can be opened in the spirit and lead you down the road of darkness to a world of corruption, destruction, sin and death.Once you give in to your “lust of the flesh” sexual desires, you open up a door that spreads in a myriad of directions without being aware that you opened all those doors. Please examine the diagram on the next page.
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