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(Pornography:the quiet addiction!)

People Are Talking about

"A gripping display of honesty,
transparency and enlightenment.."

"comes straight from the heart"

"...right on target. This is needed."

"God is sure to set free, bless
and help others through this book."

"I was delivered from the spirit of
lust within a week after reading it"

"A courageous first effort by the author."

Table Of Contents



Chapter 1 The Shocker: How It All Began...................13

Chapter 2 Moving On Up To The Big Time!.................19

Chapter 3 A World Full Of Corruption...............,........25

Chapter 4 New Direction.........................................35

Chapter 5 Uncharted Territory..................................48

Chapter 6 So Where Do We Go From Here?................55

Chapter 7 The Victory Can Be Yours Right Now..........59

Chapter 8 Scriptures For The Battle With Lust............63

Chapter 9 Statistics: The Pornography Industry... .......67

Chapter 10 Self-Evaluation & Observation..................73

About The Author


The Shocker: How it all Began

Let me explain right now that you will be seeing the
words intercourse, erection, masturbation, self
gratification and other socially "taboo" words
throughout this book Being shy about discussing the
addiction to pornography is one but being ignorant
about it can be a devastating mistake. One thing
needs to be explained up front. "Addicted to
pornography" is not an accurate description of what’s
going on with men. The porn leads to a type of sexual
arousal that must be fulfilled through masturbation or
sexual intercourse. The ecstasy that is experienced
from that sequence of events is truly what the
addiction is. Masturbation is such a "taboo", "hush-
hush" topic that I thought it best not to put it on the
cover. The Word has a lot to say about a variety
of sexual behaviors which many people wish to
justify to themselves saying "it is not covered in the
Bible," so that they may continue their immoral
"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to
lust for her has already committed adultery with her
in his heart." (Matt. 6:28)

"Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims,
abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the
soul." (1 Peter 2:9)

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification
that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that
each of you should know how to possess his own vessel
in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust,
like the Gentiles who do not know God."
(1 Thess. 4:5)

Coming into my teenage years,I was, like other
teenage boys, trying to understand this new
incredible surge of hormonal activity taking
place in my body, in particular, sexual energy. Girls
suddenly went from being annoying pests to
attractive beings. Suddenly, just the mere thought
of a girl in a short dress would get my hormones
racing and give me an instant erection, sometimes
in the most inconvenient locations. It was quite
frustrating at first for it seemed that my penis had
a mind of its own. An erection would pop up for all
sorts of reasons. Sometimes it would be triggered
by a girl in a short dress, the thought of a girl in
a short dress, pictures of a girl in a short dress
or swimsuit, or tight pants that rubbed me the
wrong way as I walked, sitting innocently in class,
washing myself in the shower, or simply that morning
erection that is with you many times during your
waking hours. Regardless of the reason, this arousal
seemed to happen at any time of day, at home or at
school. It was quite embarrassing. My only defense
was to have a book handy to hide behind or constantly
have my hands in my pockets trying to hide the bulge.

At age 13 I remember reading what seemed like at
the time, a harmless issue of Ebony magazine. I then
turned the page and discovered that this issue was
the issue. Pages and pages of women dressed in
a variety of provocative one-piece swimsuits. Nothing
like swimsuits today. My hormones went crazy. Here
were a variety of pictures of well-developed women
posing in positions I’d never paid attention to
but were now quite arousing. Sure enough, the good
old dependable erection quickly followed.

Next thing I knew I was helping the arousal along
by rubbing my erection against the pillow next to
me as I continued to look at the various pictures.
Before I knew it, I had ejaculated and a new
discovery of pleasure was born. This newfound
pleasure was quite a discovery, almost like a
high without dealing with drugs or alcohol. However,
there was a similarity. After several dates with
the swimsuit issue, I became bored and sought to
find new pictures for stimulation. Next I found
myself looking for anything else with pictures like
that swimsuit issue. One day after an exhaustive
search, I stumbled up on a Spiegel catalog. It
was indeed boring until I found the bra section
with several pages of women, twenty to thirty
pictures on a page. There were all types of bras,
various sizes of breasts and various amounts of
exposure. For me and my newfound erotic activity,
the bra section was like finding a gold mine.
It would be months before I would get bored with
all those pictures. Little did I know that this was
the first step towards becoming addicted to

I define masturbation as "deliberate self-stimulation
which is designed to achieve sexual arousal or self-
gratification." This, of course, does not include wet
dreams or surprising ejaculations which occur simply
because of your newly discovered sensations and
hormone drive during the teenage years. In fact,
the do’s or don’ts of the act of masturbation is such
a controversial topic that I’m only going to deal with
it in this book in regards to it’s relationship with
being addicted to pornography.

During the early teenage years, I was rather shy
towards girls and catalog became my fantasy gigolo
relationship with women. I never had to worry
about rejection or what to say to them with the goal
of having sex. The pictures of women wearing bras
on the page were all I needed to arouse me enough
to ejaculate and I was satisfied with that.

That was back in 1965. My addiction to pornography
started innocently enough, from a swimsuit issue
of one piece bathing suits, which was all I knew
about then. The chances for teens as well as adults
to become addicted to pornography today is twice
as likely because swimsuits are now much more
revealing, while hard and soft pornography is more
graphic. Adult films are now as accessible as
renting your favorite movie from the video rental
store. And even music videos use sex to increase
their sales amongst their main targets, teenagers.
Now in the 21st century, we are all bombarded by
seductive music videos, TV censorship that allows
such skimpy bikini’s and partially nude bodies to
run freely on regular television; motion pictures
and television shows which leave little to the
imagination in their sex scenes, talk shows
revealing all sorts of sexual perversions,
pornography over the Internet, pornography videos
and magazines on sale at your local newsstand. And
what has made it even worse today is the growth
of the most perverse pornography of all -- child
pornography. Images of nude children fed to the
United States over the Internet from countries
overseas who feel that child porn is perfectly
acceptable. And with all this comes the frightening
viewpoint from many parents that "kids are going
to see this sooner or later anyway. So why not now."
You can probably count on one hand with several
fingers left over, the number of films or TV shows
that don’t suggest a sexual encounter of some sort
in their story line.

Film and TV before the 70’s barely showed two
people kissing, and sleeping in separate beds. Sex
was just insinuated sex, leaving much to the
imagination. Today the theme seems to be, "let’s
show you as much as we can get away with" before
the censors step in. What happened next?
Read on!


Promotion Time:
Moving on up to the big time

Graduation from high school finally arrived. Hooray!
I’m grown now! Shoot, you can’t tell me anything
now! I’m ready for the world! Ha! Being out of high
school gives us a false sense of security that we’re
adults. Even the law doesn’t recognize that until the
age of twenty-one. Nonetheless, it’s a chance to go
out on your own so to speak, whether off to college
or attempting to move out from your parents into
your own place with a roommate.

For me, I was off to college. As far as I was
concerned, I was on my own. Independence, wow,
what a concept. What did all this have to do with
my addiction? Well first of all, it meant that I could
now buy books from the pornography stand. I was
raised by my mother most of my life. There was
definitely no Playboy magazine lying around the
house as some of my other friends had told me about.
By this time I had graduated to the point where
swimsuit issues, bras and lingerie of every type
was a bore. I needed to see women completely naked
now in order to get aroused. Pornography addiction
like sex addiction is as bad as drugs. The more you
get, the more you want. In the pornography section,
I was like a kid in a candy store. There was all
black pornography, interracial pornography, white
pornography and every kind of sexual perversion
imaginable. Thank God, I didn’t care for the
perverted or freaky stuff. My next order of
progression was Playboy, Hustler, Adam and Players
(an all black Playboy) magazines. My addiction was
quickly getting out of control. I collected
centerfolds like a stamp collector collects stamps with
the justification that I considered the naked female
body to be a work of art. Right! What a load of bull.

The addiction continued. I moved up from porn
magazines to porn pictorials, with nothing but pictures
of fine naked women posing in seductive positions
satisfying my addiction. Why try to fool myself or
anyone else? I could care less about the articles.
Give me the flesh. I couldn’t get enough. I decided
to make the porn centerfolds my wallpaper on the
walls and ceiling of my room in college. When girls came
to visit my room, it never dawned on me that they would
feel uncomfortable, but that they would get the hint
and assume the position because I was really only
interested in what they had under their clothes.
Thinking back, almost every man I knew at that
time, did the same thing in their own way. However, I
was still rather timid about talking to women. My past
six years had been dominated by the underlying reason
for my ongoing addiction to pornography. It was, in
fact, a pictures - arousal - masturbation addiction. I
had no idea what else a couple had to talk about if it
didn’t lead to sex.

As I mentioned in chapter one, this addiction has two
basic sub-descriptions. One sub-description, pictures,
arousal, masturbation addiction. The other sub-
description is pictures, arousal, sex addiction. In either
case, sexual fulfillment is the goal. I purposefully do
not say "making love" because that terminology is
reserved for two people who are in love. "Sex", as
referred to by many people, is simply the act of sexual
fulfillment or intercourse without the necessity of any
emotional attachment.

Throughout college, a pattern was developing that I
was never aware of until after being delivered from
this addiction and ministering to others recently.
The type of women I dated closely resembled the
women in the magazines and I expected them to
behave however my porn addiction fantasies
dictated. I don’t have to tell you how many
relationships were broken because of this ridiculous
pressure I was placing on the women. No way could
they live up to the expectations of my fantasy life
and I didn’t even give them a chance to. This is the
same kind of pressure placed on wives if their
husbands are addicted to pornography. I eventually
learned that in order to have any kind of worthwhile
relationship with a real woman, the pictorial wallpaper
was going to have to go. This bombardment of flesh
twenty-four hours a day had caused a new problem.
I looked at every woman as a sex object and not a
person with feelings and depth.

Even after successfully replacing the wallpaper with
more meaningful athletic and positive images, I kept
volumes of magazines in my desk drawer, never
more than an arms length away. Feeling that I was
ready for any and everything, I thought I was now
grown enough to go to one of the local Triple "X"-
rated hard corn pornography theaters.

I feel it is important at this point in the book that
I explain the difference between "soft-core" and
"hard-core" pornography. "Soft-core" porn is
partial nudity in seductive poses, nudity and couples
in provocative sexual positions without showing
any genitals in the act of intercourse. "Hard-core"
porn is graphic nude pictorials and positions including
the genitals in the act of intercourse or masturbation
and every other detail that can or cannot be imagined.
Very little is left to the imagination. In fact, some of
the perversions in hardcore porn give you perverse
ideas that you probably would not have had if you were
not exposed to it.

After watching an hour and a half of nonstop sexual
intercourse from camera angles that made everything
bigger than life, I came out of the theater feeling
disappointed from the first time experience. Instead of
getting more aroused, a movie with only sexual
intercourse as its plot, quickly became boring. So for
a brief period, I didn’t pursue that avenue of
pornography any further.

Towards my latter years of college, maturity revealed
that the reason I was not attracting quality women
with depth and personality into my life was because
of constant focus on the nude models in the porn
magazines. Therefore, I was attracting only sex-
crazed females who had no desire to be in a relationship
other than a sexual one. And what did I care about
having a relationship? Not much at the time.

However, here is where I began to notice all the
dangerous side effects of pornography, in regards to
women and relationships. But I didn’t pay enough
attention to it to make a difference with my addiction.
Little did I know I was only steps away from a world
of corruption I couldn’t imagine.

For further information regarding lectures at Men's Fellowships or more email mefaith_hope_help2@yahoo.com


Chapter 3 A World Full Of Corruption...........................25

Chapter 4 New Direction............................................35

Chapter 5 Uncharted Territory...................................48

Chapter 6 So Where Do We Go From Here?.................55

Chapter 7 The Victory Can Be Yours Right Now...........59

Chapter 8 Scriptures For The Battle With Lust............63

Chapter 9 Statistics: The Pornography Industry..........67

Chapter 10 Self-Evaluation & Observation................73


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